I need to change my behaviour to meet my goals, not the other way around.
Devon Aoki for i-D Magazine (1998) Photography: Ellen Von Unwerth
I need to change my behaviour to meet my goals, not the other way around.
Why did I move somewhere so hot ? Can’t wear furs in this weather.
I will never, ever again accept crumbs or promises without reason.
I want the whole cake. I am made for far more beautiful and interesting things.
One month was enough. I am easy to get when I put my eyes into someone and far harder to keep.
10 days since I ended up whatever was going on with him. Blocked him yesterday. Ended up liking him more than expected.
Inconsistency, no plans, getting ignored is hell. The moment I had the evidence and faced it rationally that I won’t have the reciprocity, respect and priority. It ended up there, but the heart has its reasons. And I got obsessed, and it ended up not being about the personal relationship with him but the way it made me feel about myself.
Standards, self respect and giving me a place to feel and release is what helped me. I’m grateful that I could process a lot of things that were frozen in myself and re-signified a lot of things. My feelings, my responsibility.
And once more, I fell in love with my mind.
Unfortunately playing with fire is hot.
it’s time to give distance when the energy shifts, I just thought that it would have taken longer than this.
It’s as simple as that.
To be desired is easy, it’s fun but short lived. To be wanted through desire is alluring, it’s easy. But once it comes to be kept when you give yourself for so little, just because you wanted. There’s no more than this.
From the start I whispered that I would be the one to disappear. I knew it wouldn’t last long, because I kept him at arms reach. I don’t want to share my thoughts, I don’t want to tell you how my day was, I don’t want to get attached to something that will not last. Don’t ask me to repeat my whispers aloud, don’t tell me plans that will not happen, don’t try to reach my heart when it is only mine to keep. I just want your body, you just want mine. That’s it. You’re not the one who will unconditionally love me.
🪞 You have been desired, you have given yourself, you have pleased, you have been marked and it’s time for you to move on. No anchors, no turning backs because soon enough you’ll fly away again.
Even if I become a sinner in the eyes of Men, my innocence will always be mine alone. My heart is pure, just more walls appeared to the labyrinth leading to it. It doesn’t want to be crushed once more.
This is so me.
Devon Aoki for i-D Magazine (1998) Photography: Ellen Von Unwerth
Enable mobile theme On the Customize screen turn off the Use default mobile theme option under Advanced Options. 
Display avatar image Upload an image to the "Header Avatar" option, square images work best. 
Remove stash credit Remove the stash logo from your website by getting a Full License.
More help & customization If you still need more check out our help section or the theme docs.